Thursday, April 15, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
i won't if you won't.
he other day i had a friend comment on how i was being broken down by the midwest, that i was letting go of my "PC-ness" (my quotes, not his). while they were kidding, and found this quite amusing, i found it somewhat terrifying. i've always agreed with the off minor quote, "who you are is not a function of where you are" and would like to believe the traveling and moving i've done in the past years is more an exploration than being escapist or some sordid attempt to recreate myself by sheer geography. while i realize, and would hope to not be immune or inflexible to change, i detest the idea of letting go of certain ideals simply because i'm no longer surround by friends with similar to identical ideals as in santa cruz or san francisco. more, the concern that i'm letting go of the good and maintaining the bad. continuing to drink and do little else besides ride my bike and no longer teaching myself and being motivated to try new things, maintain any semblance of community involvement or even maintain intensity about the things i am involved in.
i've been reading a lot more lately, and realized how totally i've fallen out of touch with politics. &how rarely i seriously discuss/debate ideas rather than people and facts. i suppose i knew those topics and discussions wouldn't be as accessible, or givens, once out of college, yet being smacked in the face with that sort of commentary forces me to reevaluate what i expect out of myself. that while i pretend to challenge myself, i've failed to continue learning on my own volition.
and then maybe all of this is more the realization that i can't continue to use my age as an excuse any longer. while 23 isn't old, i do begin to contemplate what it means if i continue to be a bike messenger and reach 25, 26 with no other experience besides riding my bike in a city. that the section in katy otto's article below where she mentions being someone who typically imagines their self as being able to eschew social conventions, i still freak out over what this means for my future. if on the set timeline of expectancy, when will i begin to be a "real grown-up" and will i be satisfied if i never reach that? (i also really liked this below quote)
"i'd always assumed there would be a certain point in time when the transformation from "kid" to "adult" would be complete. one day I would wake up and suddenly understand how interest rates are calculated, know how to properly clean stuffed animals, and throw out everything in my closet that could possibly stand out in anyway. bam! I would have a family, be making wise investment decisions regarding housing and automobiles, start wearing gold jewelry and be capable of making anything from pancakes and casseroles with nary a glance at a cookbook. somehow, this elusive adulthood has managed to make a wide berth around the path of my life. either that or at 26, i am not yet eligible." kim bae
despite being overall content with my life and how free and easy it is, i have been continually thinking about what i want to do next, and where to go from here. maybe i just need a job that more thoroughly occupies my mind, so i can finally get out of my head.
&this has always been one of my favorite articles. cause katy otto is such an articulate, bad-ass. i'll repost it here for posterity's sake, even though i rarely reread these entries:
I am fortunate to have an overwhelming number of driven, high caliber, loving, incredible women in my life (additionally i am surrounded by incredible men, trans, and gender-queer folk). We face challenges that come with living in a culture that is terrified of women who have strong, substantive, impermeable relationships with each other, be they artistic, organizational, familial, or intimate. From a young age, girls are socialized to compete with each other--we are taught to operate from a place of scarcity. If we choose to date men, we are told it's an occasional "necessity" to trample over each other to get the final prize, the jackpot, the pot of gold at the end of the goddamn rainbow-the boyfriend! He'll rush in, bestow his ever-so-unique and vital attention on us, and all our problems will melt away.
We get messages beginning in girlhood that our worth and femininity depend on our abilities to secure an appropriate male partner. He must be stoic, be traditionally masculine, never cheat on us or mistreat us, make money, not be substance riddled, and be in control at all times (as we must). We must have an air tight, perfect, harmonious relationship with great communication, great sex, plans to procreate, a path toward home ownership, satisfying careers, and total equality.
What I wonder is: are people ever able to live up to this? Real life is way messier. As I approach 29, pressure mounts about the future. I have to remind myself that if I claim not to give a fuck about social conventions, why should I suddenly panic when fielding repeated questions about marriage, house and kids? Things are changing and taking different paths is more socially acceptable but I still think we are limited and hurt a lot by this. Sure, I'd love a "perfect" relationship, but I know I don't want to create on giving more than 50% of the effort. No one does.
It is an interesting time in our culture. The US has the highest number of single people it has had at any point in history, proportionally. We focus on quick fixes and instant gratification. It is how we have consumed everything growing up. Why should love or intimacy be any different? In this context, I worry about how competition affects women's friendships with each other. We often destroy the possibility of connecting through jealousy and envy. In punk, where fewer of us are present, we are by no means immune to these trappings. We feel anger, possessiveness, and defensiveness when our corner is threatened. When another girl has the boy or girl we want, gets more attention, is incredibly pretty or smart or funny, we are too scared to fully acknowledge the reality because it is uncomfortable, sticky, and unattractive. it also makes us feel vulnerable.
In my experience, men are often either unaware of or insensitive to their disruption of women's friendships with each other. This ranges from the guy commenting to a girl constantly about her girlfriend that he is interested in, to comparing two women who are close friends to one another when so such comparison has been invited, to making musical/artistic comparisons just because two creators are women. fucking snore. Conversely, I have no patience for girls who seek out social currency by dissing other girls in shitty, catty ways, frequently in front of guys. I am in awe of men with the perception to not only name this bullshit dynamic, but (as I have seen one, and pretty much to date only one man do) to call that shit what it is and not participate in it.
Men who reward such antics are bullshit. Women who participate in such antics are bullshit.
What I am interested in right now is meetings women with the guts to talk about the complex, difficult ways we are put at odds with one another. Talking about it breaks the silence that keeps us from truly accessing support and love from each other.
In this issue, I interviewed one of my favorite humans in the world, Aimee Argote from Des_Ark. We met when we were teenagers in our first bands. We played shows together, connected through a network that existed pre-myspace, and the internet website message board blogosphere frenzy, centered around women and queer punks. We all knew what lady/queer kid booked shows in what town. We knew what her last 'zine or record was like. We would call each other on the phone, eventually for no other reason than to catch up. We created the community and network we envisioned.
While elements of this still exist, that network has largely dissolved. I hunger for similar structures connecting women/queer folks interested in each other's voices within punk. I want to think about how we can provide space for those often relegated to the margins to create theory, tell stories, make art. At the same time, I want a world that embraces men's leadership, ideas, and potential in challenging notions of strength.
A better world can emerge, one where strength in both women and men is embraced, where gender isn't fixed, and where people are too scared to have the difficult conversations and interactions that move us forward. Just when I am despondent about punk's ability to provide any role at all in that personal mission, I remember what I feel like at Des_ark shows, or zegota shows, or shows of any number of bands that give me the fuel to keep fighting for the world I want to live in.
thinking of this struggle always calls to mind the great tattoo a friend of mine has on his knuckles--don't stop. i won't if you won't.
--katy otto.
(column from the 'zine: Give Me Back, volume 3.)
oh boy, but in general, things have been good.
i forgot in romanticizing summer, i neglected to remember the sunburns, the sweaty messenger bag back, the abundant creepy comments about my legs and tattoos, too often being called baby girl. the excessive amount of pedestrians and tourists stumbling off sidewalks at all times. still, ultimately, i'm loving iced mate and iced coffee in the sun, being able to sit anywhere instead of the same 4 buildings. the shortened dressing time and my general uplifted mood.
thursday night pubcrawl: 5 wheels stolen outside the second bar, lots of people stuck behind at cole's (no more cool bars included in the future), but ended up being awesome, wrapping up with a bikini bar, $3 whiskey and lots of french fries, and last at christina's place for $2 guiness. plans of a summer pub crawl definitely in motion.
i left with the team on friday night to drive down to hillsborough with many gas station stops and dominos for dinner. stayed in the crappiest hotel, perched on the edge of the bed so i wouldn't wake up cuddling with bradley. woke up by 7:30 and "fueled up" at this incredibly greasy spoon diner before heading to the course. the women's cat 4 race went off first with a full field of 50 (!) in these semi-winding backroads, littered with sections of gravel. it was awesome though. we only did one loop (30 miles-everyone else completed 2) and it finished up with two decent hills and a loop on cobble stones. i went a little too early and my sprinting muscles were cashed--but came in 4th. just off podium, shoot. hung out the rest of the day, grilling and drinking stag. loooooong bus ride home, comparing our terrible sunburns. finally arrived back in chicago and headed to the downtown shake down after party for a bit.
sunday, i was responsible! had my headset swapped for free, cooked up a bunch of beets and barley for the week, and went downtown to be filmed for a music video! lots of silly riding, but made $160 bucks for my 3 hours of participation. headed straight over to cait's to read as you like it and eat cookies on sticks with liz. as nick would say, "my life definitely isn't totally crappy."
sunny week with the philly kids coming in on thursday and MMI this weekend.
i've been reading a lot more lately, and realized how totally i've fallen out of touch with politics. &how rarely i seriously discuss/debate ideas rather than people and facts. i suppose i knew those topics and discussions wouldn't be as accessible, or givens, once out of college, yet being smacked in the face with that sort of commentary forces me to reevaluate what i expect out of myself. that while i pretend to challenge myself, i've failed to continue learning on my own volition.
and then maybe all of this is more the realization that i can't continue to use my age as an excuse any longer. while 23 isn't old, i do begin to contemplate what it means if i continue to be a bike messenger and reach 25, 26 with no other experience besides riding my bike in a city. that the section in katy otto's article below where she mentions being someone who typically imagines their self as being able to eschew social conventions, i still freak out over what this means for my future. if on the set timeline of expectancy, when will i begin to be a "real grown-up" and will i be satisfied if i never reach that? (i also really liked this below quote)
"i'd always assumed there would be a certain point in time when the transformation from "kid" to "adult" would be complete. one day I would wake up and suddenly understand how interest rates are calculated, know how to properly clean stuffed animals, and throw out everything in my closet that could possibly stand out in anyway. bam! I would have a family, be making wise investment decisions regarding housing and automobiles, start wearing gold jewelry and be capable of making anything from pancakes and casseroles with nary a glance at a cookbook. somehow, this elusive adulthood has managed to make a wide berth around the path of my life. either that or at 26, i am not yet eligible." kim bae
despite being overall content with my life and how free and easy it is, i have been continually thinking about what i want to do next, and where to go from here. maybe i just need a job that more thoroughly occupies my mind, so i can finally get out of my head.
&this has always been one of my favorite articles. cause katy otto is such an articulate, bad-ass. i'll repost it here for posterity's sake, even though i rarely reread these entries:
I am fortunate to have an overwhelming number of driven, high caliber, loving, incredible women in my life (additionally i am surrounded by incredible men, trans, and gender-queer folk). We face challenges that come with living in a culture that is terrified of women who have strong, substantive, impermeable relationships with each other, be they artistic, organizational, familial, or intimate. From a young age, girls are socialized to compete with each other--we are taught to operate from a place of scarcity. If we choose to date men, we are told it's an occasional "necessity" to trample over each other to get the final prize, the jackpot, the pot of gold at the end of the goddamn rainbow-the boyfriend! He'll rush in, bestow his ever-so-unique and vital attention on us, and all our problems will melt away.
We get messages beginning in girlhood that our worth and femininity depend on our abilities to secure an appropriate male partner. He must be stoic, be traditionally masculine, never cheat on us or mistreat us, make money, not be substance riddled, and be in control at all times (as we must). We must have an air tight, perfect, harmonious relationship with great communication, great sex, plans to procreate, a path toward home ownership, satisfying careers, and total equality.
What I wonder is: are people ever able to live up to this? Real life is way messier. As I approach 29, pressure mounts about the future. I have to remind myself that if I claim not to give a fuck about social conventions, why should I suddenly panic when fielding repeated questions about marriage, house and kids? Things are changing and taking different paths is more socially acceptable but I still think we are limited and hurt a lot by this. Sure, I'd love a "perfect" relationship, but I know I don't want to create on giving more than 50% of the effort. No one does.
It is an interesting time in our culture. The US has the highest number of single people it has had at any point in history, proportionally. We focus on quick fixes and instant gratification. It is how we have consumed everything growing up. Why should love or intimacy be any different? In this context, I worry about how competition affects women's friendships with each other. We often destroy the possibility of connecting through jealousy and envy. In punk, where fewer of us are present, we are by no means immune to these trappings. We feel anger, possessiveness, and defensiveness when our corner is threatened. When another girl has the boy or girl we want, gets more attention, is incredibly pretty or smart or funny, we are too scared to fully acknowledge the reality because it is uncomfortable, sticky, and unattractive. it also makes us feel vulnerable.
In my experience, men are often either unaware of or insensitive to their disruption of women's friendships with each other. This ranges from the guy commenting to a girl constantly about her girlfriend that he is interested in, to comparing two women who are close friends to one another when so such comparison has been invited, to making musical/artistic comparisons just because two creators are women. fucking snore. Conversely, I have no patience for girls who seek out social currency by dissing other girls in shitty, catty ways, frequently in front of guys. I am in awe of men with the perception to not only name this bullshit dynamic, but (as I have seen one, and pretty much to date only one man do) to call that shit what it is and not participate in it.
Men who reward such antics are bullshit. Women who participate in such antics are bullshit.
What I am interested in right now is meetings women with the guts to talk about the complex, difficult ways we are put at odds with one another. Talking about it breaks the silence that keeps us from truly accessing support and love from each other.
In this issue, I interviewed one of my favorite humans in the world, Aimee Argote from Des_Ark. We met when we were teenagers in our first bands. We played shows together, connected through a network that existed pre-myspace, and the internet website message board blogosphere frenzy, centered around women and queer punks. We all knew what lady/queer kid booked shows in what town. We knew what her last 'zine or record was like. We would call each other on the phone, eventually for no other reason than to catch up. We created the community and network we envisioned.
While elements of this still exist, that network has largely dissolved. I hunger for similar structures connecting women/queer folks interested in each other's voices within punk. I want to think about how we can provide space for those often relegated to the margins to create theory, tell stories, make art. At the same time, I want a world that embraces men's leadership, ideas, and potential in challenging notions of strength.
A better world can emerge, one where strength in both women and men is embraced, where gender isn't fixed, and where people are too scared to have the difficult conversations and interactions that move us forward. Just when I am despondent about punk's ability to provide any role at all in that personal mission, I remember what I feel like at Des_ark shows, or zegota shows, or shows of any number of bands that give me the fuel to keep fighting for the world I want to live in.
thinking of this struggle always calls to mind the great tattoo a friend of mine has on his knuckles--don't stop. i won't if you won't.
--katy otto.
(column from the 'zine: Give Me Back, volume 3.)
oh boy, but in general, things have been good.
i forgot in romanticizing summer, i neglected to remember the sunburns, the sweaty messenger bag back, the abundant creepy comments about my legs and tattoos, too often being called baby girl. the excessive amount of pedestrians and tourists stumbling off sidewalks at all times. still, ultimately, i'm loving iced mate and iced coffee in the sun, being able to sit anywhere instead of the same 4 buildings. the shortened dressing time and my general uplifted mood.
thursday night pubcrawl: 5 wheels stolen outside the second bar, lots of people stuck behind at cole's (no more cool bars included in the future), but ended up being awesome, wrapping up with a bikini bar, $3 whiskey and lots of french fries, and last at christina's place for $2 guiness. plans of a summer pub crawl definitely in motion.
i left with the team on friday night to drive down to hillsborough with many gas station stops and dominos for dinner. stayed in the crappiest hotel, perched on the edge of the bed so i wouldn't wake up cuddling with bradley. woke up by 7:30 and "fueled up" at this incredibly greasy spoon diner before heading to the course. the women's cat 4 race went off first with a full field of 50 (!) in these semi-winding backroads, littered with sections of gravel. it was awesome though. we only did one loop (30 miles-everyone else completed 2) and it finished up with two decent hills and a loop on cobble stones. i went a little too early and my sprinting muscles were cashed--but came in 4th. just off podium, shoot. hung out the rest of the day, grilling and drinking stag. loooooong bus ride home, comparing our terrible sunburns. finally arrived back in chicago and headed to the downtown shake down after party for a bit.
sunday, i was responsible! had my headset swapped for free, cooked up a bunch of beets and barley for the week, and went downtown to be filmed for a music video! lots of silly riding, but made $160 bucks for my 3 hours of participation. headed straight over to cait's to read as you like it and eat cookies on sticks with liz. as nick would say, "my life definitely isn't totally crappy."
sunny week with the philly kids coming in on thursday and MMI this weekend.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
april showers bring may flowers
so in spite of myself, i'll continue to discuss the weather since it has such ridiculous control over my mental well-being. 70s in late march/april is fucking incredible. even broke the record high on wednesday, 83 degrees at o'hare. oh global warming, YOU'RE. ALRIGHT!
despite trying to eat healthier in general, i was tastee freeze frequenter last week--3 days in a row to be exact. it's just so easy when the whole neighborhood wants to hang out all the time. bbqs and porch time is already in full swing. AND THEN the weekend of birthdays begins. thursday video nasties was an early meet up at TF followed by stone beer drinking at kyle/ali's. and they live is a great movie, or what i was able to follow over the yelling. AND our seedlings are sprouting at ali's!
after work on friday, we bbq'ed and bocci'ed, then headed up to cole's to celebrate claire and chris' birthdays. luckily cole seemed genuinely stoked to have us there--which kind of makes me wonder exactly HOW terrible one would have to be...much mellower than the sheer rowdiness of aug/phil's bdays to be sure though.
despite ample complaining of a potential "colder" weekend, saturday cleared by 1pm. ali, kyle and i rode up to evanston, and caught a late lunch at heartland cafe. i didn't know such a stereotypically hippy cafe could exist in chicago, but it does and reminds me a great deal of dharma's in santa cruz. black bean burgers, yum. after birthday cake with chris' parents, we headed up to the two-way for sean's birthday. bizarre crowd to begin (you can only take so much kenny loggins) but we slowly took it over, with a continual flow of old style pitchers and new faces. we discussed boiler makers at midnight, but once the crowd swelled to 30, we figured it was a lost cause. instead, we put rick astley on the jukebox 3 times in a row. alas, e farrar came to the rescue, and returned to the table with two trays of the worst whisky you've ever tasted. with a countdown to midnight, the music was turned down and the whole bar joined in singing sean happy birthday while we haphazardly assembled our drinks, splashing whisky all over. all our songs started turning up on the juke box, and kim brought out the dance party in all of us with a whole lot of mariah carey. dance parties, whisky, and good friends make any saturday a win.
sunday brunch was a late affair, but filled with vegan cupcakes and lots of potato products, patio hang outs and plenty of sunshine. sundays are always best, always.
despite trying to eat healthier in general, i was tastee freeze frequenter last week--3 days in a row to be exact. it's just so easy when the whole neighborhood wants to hang out all the time. bbqs and porch time is already in full swing. AND THEN the weekend of birthdays begins. thursday video nasties was an early meet up at TF followed by stone beer drinking at kyle/ali's. and they live is a great movie, or what i was able to follow over the yelling. AND our seedlings are sprouting at ali's!
after work on friday, we bbq'ed and bocci'ed, then headed up to cole's to celebrate claire and chris' birthdays. luckily cole seemed genuinely stoked to have us there--which kind of makes me wonder exactly HOW terrible one would have to be...much mellower than the sheer rowdiness of aug/phil's bdays to be sure though.
despite ample complaining of a potential "colder" weekend, saturday cleared by 1pm. ali, kyle and i rode up to evanston, and caught a late lunch at heartland cafe. i didn't know such a stereotypically hippy cafe could exist in chicago, but it does and reminds me a great deal of dharma's in santa cruz. black bean burgers, yum. after birthday cake with chris' parents, we headed up to the two-way for sean's birthday. bizarre crowd to begin (you can only take so much kenny loggins) but we slowly took it over, with a continual flow of old style pitchers and new faces. we discussed boiler makers at midnight, but once the crowd swelled to 30, we figured it was a lost cause. instead, we put rick astley on the jukebox 3 times in a row. alas, e farrar came to the rescue, and returned to the table with two trays of the worst whisky you've ever tasted. with a countdown to midnight, the music was turned down and the whole bar joined in singing sean happy birthday while we haphazardly assembled our drinks, splashing whisky all over. all our songs started turning up on the juke box, and kim brought out the dance party in all of us with a whole lot of mariah carey. dance parties, whisky, and good friends make any saturday a win.
sunday brunch was a late affair, but filled with vegan cupcakes and lots of potato products, patio hang outs and plenty of sunshine. sundays are always best, always.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
you're not at your best on your own today...
... you need the energy of other people to get you going. if you're surrounded by others who share your values, you can perform at your peak.
-virgo horoscope for today.
and somehow i feel this is true for most days, especially per a conversation i had just last night. and i've been needing more "peak performance" out of myself lately. phew.
i also found this amazing website/blog with "strange maps," maps redo for specific purposes or, in this case, allegorical, but all super interesting.
we had also just been talking about chicago being the "beer belly" of america and when i brought up the site the other day:
which awesomely includes quotes from a david lynch movie the straight story which i have yet to see. with harry dean stanton. if it is anywhere near as good as paris, texas which i only recently saw, i will be please. on the david lynch note, i'll leave with a log lady quote.
"there is a sadness in this world, for we are ignorant of many things. yes, we are ignorant of many beautiful things - things like the truth. So sadness, in our ignorance, is very real. The tears are real. What is this thing called a tear? There are even tiny ducts - tear ducts - to produce these tears should the sadness occur. Then the day when the sadness comes - then we ask: "Will this sadness which makes me cry - will this sadness that makes my heart cry out - will it ever end?" The answer, of course, is yes. One day the sadness will end."
-virgo horoscope for today.
and somehow i feel this is true for most days, especially per a conversation i had just last night. and i've been needing more "peak performance" out of myself lately. phew.
i also found this amazing website/blog with "strange maps," maps redo for specific purposes or, in this case, allegorical, but all super interesting.
we had also just been talking about chicago being the "beer belly" of america and when i brought up the site the other day:
which awesomely includes quotes from a david lynch movie the straight story which i have yet to see. with harry dean stanton. if it is anywhere near as good as paris, texas which i only recently saw, i will be please. on the david lynch note, i'll leave with a log lady quote.
"there is a sadness in this world, for we are ignorant of many things. yes, we are ignorant of many beautiful things - things like the truth. So sadness, in our ignorance, is very real. The tears are real. What is this thing called a tear? There are even tiny ducts - tear ducts - to produce these tears should the sadness occur. Then the day when the sadness comes - then we ask: "Will this sadness which makes me cry - will this sadness that makes my heart cry out - will it ever end?" The answer, of course, is yes. One day the sadness will end."
Sunday, March 21, 2010
it's like you finally realize how lucky you really are to have had a few great heartbreaks.
i took a sharp left down an alley yesterday and suddenly remembered that less than a month ago, i wouldn't have dared with the amount of snow and ice on that had inhabited the ground then. yet, this past week has been amazing--shirt sleeves and shorts in march, who knew?! i think this is a premonition of a daringly warm summer, but i'll take it for now. yet, this weekend winter felt necessary to reassert itself, and keep chicago in check with a blast of sleet. ugh, the return of the wet 30s, but the forecast is to be clear through the next week. oddly better, since i'm in the lower denomination who would rather clear weeks and stormy weekends. in this spring/summer weather, i finally relearn to love my job and reel in the negative attitude (sometimes, its beyond my will to keep it in check) when the sun emerges. i'd like to think i have more control over my emotions (who wouldn't), but i'll be realistic (we're all so naive) and recognize the strength of sun and warmth on my general happiness. smiles and all, i'd prefer to tear across the loop, &enjoy riding my bike, and then continue to feel justified in my movie *cough*degrassi*cough* watching, brunches filled with excessive coffee and bloody marys, complete with naps on weekends, which always feel so much more appropriate with gloom, gloom, gloom.
today was technically the first day of spring. ironically, also the worst weather we've had in weeks. yet daylight savings "spring ahead" has saved my sanity (in addition to 3 pieces of free cake in 2 days. apparently its birthday season. i'm in luck) since arriving home in daylight encourages me to do more than simply curl up with the closest cat who wants to snuggle (usually oscar). we celebrated with brunch at erica and sean's. cozy hang out with an amazing variety of yummy vegan food and homemade pickled creations erica had canned the previous summer (i'm going to be all over that this summer). i spent the remainder of the day cleaning up from the final chili night. chili night was forcibly ended (though by allison and i, ha) since winter is "over". according to it's nature, the event insisted on going out with a bang. bang indeed. At 930, i escaped to the porch since with the sheer number of attendees, i could hardly move around in my own kitchen. i kept proclaiming, "this is a potluck, not a party," yet i even knew i was sadly mistaken. at 11pm, a dance party to spice girls erupted despite my futile yells to "turn it the fuck down". finally, by 12:30 the crowd has dissipated. but to not be mistaken, it was TOTALLY awesome to have a sort of closure with the official winter. &i felt damn proud to have carried this event from october-march (despite russell's proclamations for failure) with allison. thanks to boggle, booze, and cheap crayons +paper from the family dollar, everyone seemed to have a blast. already there are murmurings of spring BBQs. i can only hope. &hope they are planned by someone else.
sundays have been filled with shakespeare night at cait's (currently reading the taming of the shrew after an avid viewing of ten things i hate about you) as well as emo nights at tuman's (so much braid, promise ring & jawbreaker) at the end of the month. the first criterium of the year kicks off this monday and i'm anxiously trying to pull myself together with a proper bike AND arrive down at calumet by 6:30pm. i've shirked at properly getting into shape as compared to some of my teammates, but i'm damn excited to begin this season.
as always, i feel incomplete and abstract by not filling in the gaps, but it is what it is. i cannot wait for summer, and as much for people to cease talking about how close summer is. short-shorts will rule my life, and more, after work hang outs with the burgeoning community of humboldt/logan. but really, things just seem to be working my way, thank you.
today was technically the first day of spring. ironically, also the worst weather we've had in weeks. yet daylight savings "spring ahead" has saved my sanity (in addition to 3 pieces of free cake in 2 days. apparently its birthday season. i'm in luck) since arriving home in daylight encourages me to do more than simply curl up with the closest cat who wants to snuggle (usually oscar). we celebrated with brunch at erica and sean's. cozy hang out with an amazing variety of yummy vegan food and homemade pickled creations erica had canned the previous summer (i'm going to be all over that this summer). i spent the remainder of the day cleaning up from the final chili night. chili night was forcibly ended (though by allison and i, ha) since winter is "over". according to it's nature, the event insisted on going out with a bang. bang indeed. At 930, i escaped to the porch since with the sheer number of attendees, i could hardly move around in my own kitchen. i kept proclaiming, "this is a potluck, not a party," yet i even knew i was sadly mistaken. at 11pm, a dance party to spice girls erupted despite my futile yells to "turn it the fuck down". finally, by 12:30 the crowd has dissipated. but to not be mistaken, it was TOTALLY awesome to have a sort of closure with the official winter. &i felt damn proud to have carried this event from october-march (despite russell's proclamations for failure) with allison. thanks to boggle, booze, and cheap crayons +paper from the family dollar, everyone seemed to have a blast. already there are murmurings of spring BBQs. i can only hope. &hope they are planned by someone else.
sundays have been filled with shakespeare night at cait's (currently reading the taming of the shrew after an avid viewing of ten things i hate about you) as well as emo nights at tuman's (so much braid, promise ring & jawbreaker) at the end of the month. the first criterium of the year kicks off this monday and i'm anxiously trying to pull myself together with a proper bike AND arrive down at calumet by 6:30pm. i've shirked at properly getting into shape as compared to some of my teammates, but i'm damn excited to begin this season.
as always, i feel incomplete and abstract by not filling in the gaps, but it is what it is. i cannot wait for summer, and as much for people to cease talking about how close summer is. short-shorts will rule my life, and more, after work hang outs with the burgeoning community of humboldt/logan. but really, things just seem to be working my way, thank you.
Monday, March 1, 2010
...and happiness is overrated.
so some day, when i'm rich, i will buy this:
i should update for realz, but it becomes increasingly difficult as time passes. i'll sum it up with: winter is long. but somehow, i'm coming to love chicago more &more, and i find it's primarily due to so many amazing people. my friends out here are amazing. sundays rule: brunch, aqua teen hunger force, shakespeare readings &emo night. sometimes i don't see how i can continually end up so lucky.
i should update for realz, but it becomes increasingly difficult as time passes. i'll sum it up with: winter is long. but somehow, i'm coming to love chicago more &more, and i find it's primarily due to so many amazing people. my friends out here are amazing. sundays rule: brunch, aqua teen hunger force, shakespeare readings &emo night. sometimes i don't see how i can continually end up so lucky.
Monday, February 8, 2010
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